[...] Reflections on Leaving My Job… Six Months Later [...]

[...] Dollar Plan reflects on her decision to quit her corporate job 6 months [...]

I am a single mother of two young children and have recently had to work two full time jobs to try to keep up with paying the bills and the massive debt built from childcare costs.

I was caught in the “childcare trap” I could not quit my job as I had no other income source to support my children. I could not get childcare subsidy due to the fact that what little rrsp savings I did have left (which I needed to use for living expenses) disqualified me from being eligible. Therefore I had to use my line of credit to pay $1900/monthly childcare costs which was more than I earned at the time. I had no other childcare alternatives where I felt they were safe from harm while I was at work.

They have fortunately changed that policy so one’s eligibility is based on income vs reasonable expenses. They no longer disqualify or penalize a hard working person for having the sense to save an emergency fund. Unfortunately that change in policy came too late for me ~ I was almost 40K in debt by the time it came into effect.

I had saved my emergency fund so that I would never have to use social assistance – it is my strong belief that I have to provide for my family and show my children how to work hard to earn a living and try not live off of other people’s hard work.

The children are now too old for daycare but I am still paying the debt from it. How did I end up in such a mess?

…six years ago the authorities had escorted my husband away from our family due to his being violent and harmful to myself, our toddler and our infant – that is when my life changed for the safer but my finances started to dive.

When he was part of the household he did not contribute much financially and was mostly unemployed – never held a job for more than a month or two (he always found an excuse to quit his job). I was always the main bread winner.

He never saved a penny (always spent on himself) and I saved all I could for us. The children and I were in pretty good shape financially until the lawyer fees, daycare and the fact that my ex legally could and did take half of everything I saved for retirement/education etc. – AND he has never paid one penny in child support! My 16 years of working hard had earned our home, our car and our retirement savings (none of which he contributed a penny towards) and now it seems I’ve wasted 16 yrs working and saving just so he could have half of everything without having to work for it.

Before the separation I thought all I had to do to be financially sound was to work hard and save. Struggling all on my own through the past six years has almost worn me out completely (I see the people from work more than my own children) but recently I have started to educate myself more financially. I was not able to do this earlier while I was fearing for my life as my ex continually threatened me and threatened to steal the children and inflict harm/death upon them. I still have the fear and threats to deal with but know I have to keep moving forward in order to keep my family safe and have options for moving if we have to.

I am still on my own with the children and will probably stay that way forever as my ex was my first and only experience with a partner and I never want to go through that horror again!

I know now that I have to learn how to work smart as well as working hard. I want to find a way to still earn enough to live on while working part-time at a job and working a home-based business so that I may see more of my children before it’s too late. My children need and deserve to see more of their mom.

It is very hard to move forward while constantly fearing for our lives but – I can’t give up on my dream!

[...] over at My Dollar Plan gives her reflection on the decision to leave her job six months ago to spend more time with her children and pursue other business [...]

I do miss all the free wine though (I was sr. designer at a large wine company – they were generous with the wine benefits)!

I love being home, too. But I get tired of other working moms thinking that I must lead a charmed life to be able to do it. I cannot get them to understand that its all about the choices, its not about the money.

Keep us updated.

But, I will be on my way soon when I move down to Gulfport in July to be with my husband at our next Navy duty station. I am fortunate to be able to keep the position with my consulting firm and will be working remotely. Hopefully, this will give me the time and flexibility to continue to develop my plan of leaving the corporate world to pursue other things and will give me more freedom to enjoy my children, once we start having them.

I have so enjoyed following your website and look forward to future updates on your finances and future plans, however infrequent they may be.